What the Flying Turtle?
by XxpwnagexX
Summary: Umm... don't ask, just read. It's so random, it's funny. What happens when Sasuke is disturbed from eating a tomato? Yup, that's what the first chapter is about: flying turtles. Please R
1. Flying Turtle

**A/N: Wow, I haven't written something in over a year. Anyways, here's the inspiration for the story: I saw a turtle pillow. And I asked my friend, "What if someone got hit with a flying turtle?" And then she looked at me like I was insane. So I went around asking people what they would think if it was a story. Most gave me the same look, or told me that it was stupid, but my other friend (who's gave me the idea for what'll be the first 3, and the fifth chapter of this story) said it was awesome. And then she said various other words, which is the first 3 chapters, so I can't tell you them. So anyways, then the idea for the fourth chapter came up during lunch with a dare I gave this kid and he did it because I said I would give him a dollar, but I lied. And then I asked the friend who's giving me plenty of ideas to say another word, and there's the fifth chapter right there. See? You get a guaranteed 5 chapters where I know what I'm doing, so there might be more than 1 update a day. So anyways, I'm going to ask some other friends (plus her) to name random words. I consider this a sister-fic to one of my other stories, **_**Naruto Characters Say the Darndest Things**_**, and don't worry, I'm gonna update that one soon, too. By the way, this is definitely gonna be a series of drabbles. At least this one, because I don't exactly have all day to take my sweet precious time. However, summer break is approaching.**

**Disclaimer: No, I'm not Masashi Kishimoto, and therefore I don't own Naruto.**

**Anyways, enjoy the first chapter!**

_Chapter 1: Flying Turtles_

Sasuke was in the park enjoying some tomatoes on a beautiful, warm, summer day. Actually, he wasn't really "enjoying" anything. Partially because there were bees all over the place, but mostly 'cause he's emo-tastic. Just kidding. So anyways… that's when _IT_ happened.

"_Oww… what hit me? HOW DARE SOMETHING DISTURB ME FROM ENJOYING MY VEGETABLE-LIKE FRUIT!!!"_

Then he saw IT. The it that was currently causing all his misery. There, he saw… a turtle. Sasuke had a look of complete and utter confusion. Why? Not because he'd never seen a turtle before, no, Sasuke? He'd never not seen a turtle before, he's just too cool not to. But because he was wondering who possibly threw the turtle at him.

That's when it happened AGAIN. He'd been disturbed a SECOND time. He'd got hit by a flying turtle TWICE.

He shifted his eyes, and saw a glimpse of orange.

_Oh crap!_

Naruto ran for his life. Which apparently, wasn't that fast, because Sasuke caught him before he could make it to Ichiraku's Ramen, which wasn't that far from where they were originally.

Then Sasuke grabbed on to his shirt collar with one hand, armed with a turtle in the other, and chucked it right at his face.

**A/N: Wow… hmm… if I knew how to make an entire video, I'd put a movie version of this on YouTube or something, because I think it'd be a lot funnier that way. However, I don't, so this will stay a fanfiction. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed chapter one of… well, an extremely random story. Please review! **

**That's all for now.**


	2. Chocolate Cow

**A/N: Well, it's the second chapter. And there's no reviews… seriously, anything but flames would be appreciated, and I mean **_**anything**_**. Sorry for the brief wait, I've been kinda busy. Anyways, there's only 4 more days left of school, so after that I'll try to update daily, but only 4 days leaves a very short time to fill in the 94 more spots of one-worded chapter names. Yup, I've got the sixth chapter planned out, and there's going to be at least 100 hopefully, maybe more if this works out. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction.**

**So anyways, enjoy chapter 2!**

_Chapter 2: Chocolate Cow_

"MOO!"

"What the hell?"

Sasuke spotted a brown cow. "I'm a cow, Sasuke-teme!"

"Then why are you talking, and how do you know my name?"

"Because I may not be a cow. In fact, you may be close to someone you know, and have no clue."

Sasuke looked at the "cow" like it was insane. "That's you, Naruto, isn't it?"

The cow suit's head came off. "How did you know?!"

"Because I'm not an idiot, like you are. By the way, if you're going around acting like a cow, you should probably be in a straightjacket."

"OH YEAH?! Well… um…"

Sasuke smirked. "I thought so."

"SCREW YOU!!!"

**A/N: Wow… that was short. And… random. Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it, and please, oh please review!**

**That's all for now.**


	3. Fuzzy

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm really sorry I haven't updated in ages! I've either been really busy, or just procrastinating/forgetting about it. I'm really busy with school and such, so I probably won't be updating as frequently as I'd like to, but I really will try to update at least once a month. By the way, expect updates for my other stories really soon, too. I am kinda disappointed that I haven't updated them as often as I'd like. By the way, reviews will help me update more often, as when people actually are like, "Hey, I really like this story, why haven't you updated in a gazillion years?" it makes me all, "Wow, I really haven't. I know I absolutely hate it when my favorite stories haven't been updated in ages, so I should probably update all of these." So seriously people, I would be eternally grateful for all reviews received.**

**I would like to thank the people who actually HAVE reviewed my story, and I would especially like to thank michico1243 for actually reminding me that I haven't updated in ages, and encouraging me to continue, because from the reviews that I've received, I have made people laugh, AND seriously weird people out, which are two things I enjoy doing.**

**Anyways, enjoy (what I assume is) the long-awaited Chapter 3 of ****What the Flying Turtle**

_Chapter 3: Fuzzy_

"Huh?"

That was Sasuke's initial reaction when he felt someone _petting_ his head. Yes, _petting_.

He looked up.

"WHAT THE HELL--- NARUTO!" the Uchiha screamed.

"You're fuzzy…" was all the blonde had to offer in response.

Sasuke's face had a one-of-a-kind expression that didn't fail to not only show he was confused as ever, but also extremely pissed off.

"Do I look like a cat to you?"

"No…"

"Then why THE HELL ARE YOU _PETTING_ ME?!"

"You looked fuzzy…"

"Yes, and if I petted everything in my sight that I deemed could be possibly fuzzy, I would have petted an awful lot of things."

"But you see, you looked fuzzy… but _un_-fuzzy at the same time. So I wanted to make sure."

Right now, Sasuke was contemplating how Naruto could possibly have a brain.

"You don't see me petting your hair whenever I'm in doubt about how fuzzy it is, now do you?"

"I do not."

"So why did you PET ME?!"

And that's when Sakura showed up.

"What are you two fighting about now?"

"The dobe PETTED me, 'to see how fuzzy it is'!"

"Hmm… you know what, Sasuke-kun? Your hair DOES look fluffy." Sakura reached out a hand to feel it.

Sasuke looked like he was about to punch someone.

**A/N: Well, I hoped you enjoyed it! It wasn't much, but hey, I tried! Anyways, please oh please review. It'll give you the satisfaction of knowing you made someone happy. (: **

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, and again, please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


	4. Soup

**A/N: I have returned! Yes, after an eternity of waiting, another chapter has arrived! Sorry guys, I couldn't update through a combination of it being a busy year, my computer dying, and my sheer lazy-assery. Oh yeah, and this fic totally slipped my mind. However, now I will update! I'd like to thank Dashippy for reminding me about this and encouraging me to get off my lazy ass (though I'm still on it, writing this) and write! Along with my other reviewers. Yay. **

**Disclaimer: I'm sure you're all thinking, "Thank God nut job doesn't own Naruto. By the way, is it hard typing in a straightjacket?" But all I have to say is a) You're welcome and b) Yes it is. But I have escaped from the asylum to present you with another chapter of my sheer genius! **

**So anyways, enjoy the next chapter! **

* * *

_Chapter 4: Soup_

"Sasuke." By now you can all guess that it was a certain loudmouthed blonde that uttered this name. And no, it's not Ino; it's the one blonde we all like.

"Piss off."

"No. Make me soup."

"Why the hell should I make you soup, dobe?"

"Because I'm awesome. AND I GOT A COLD FROM SPARRING WITH YOUR PISSY UCHIHA ASS ALL NIGHT!!"

"Not my fault I like to train. That's why I'm better than you."

"Whatever, just shut the hell up and make me some soup."

"No."

"YES!"

By now Sasuke was beyond annoyed. "What's in it for me?"

Between sneezes, Naruto had this to say; "If you don't make me soup, I'll wipe my nose on you!"

"EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW!! FINE, I'LL MAKE YOU SOUP!!"

The blonde was grinning ear to ear now. "That's better. Now come on!" He dragged the other boy to Sasuke's house.

* * *

Sasuke was boiling a pot of water, while Naruto was laying down on the couch watching South Park and laughing his ass off.

"Wait—Naruto."

"What?"

"Uh… what kind of soup did you want me to make you?"

"Oh shit."

If you're wondering what happened afterward, let's just say the certain blonde had to be transported to the hospital. And no, unfortunately it wasn't Ino. The good blonde.

* * *

**A/N: Uh… yeah. I DID kind of have a little writer's block while writing this. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


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